I'm excited to report that I reached my first YouTube milestone in 2020. However, the downside of growth and being more recognizable on YouTube is the fact that my channel has grown big enough where I have now attracted the attention of internet trolls and I’ve started receiving online harassment. And well...it really hurt my feelings.
I was really grateful to my friend and fellow YouTube creator BeanBagHagWag
who reminded me that she had made a video called VR to Joey Morris and Benebell Wens Video Conversation on this very topic. Her video was in response to Occult Content Creators, Negativity, Drama, Community: Joey and Bell Chat [Part - 1] made by another pair of creators Joey Morris and Benebell Wen.
So, I re-watched those videos. Now one of the things I really appreciated about both of those videos is that none of those creators advocated that you should “just get over it.” It is normal to have an emotional reaction because the whole point of online harassment is to generate an emotional response.
That got me to thinking about a video I had made regarding curses: The Anatomy of a Curse and How to Remove One.
Not only do I believe that the first symptom of a curse is an intense emotional response. But I advocate that curses are the easiest form of magic to do. “I hate you,” is a very effective magical curse that does not require any type of magical training or even a belief in occult magic to cast. That’s why I think the online harassment from internet trolls is so painful – it’s a curse. It takes time to “just get over” a curse, and sometimes, they cause so much personal damage, you have to do a bit of “magical surgery” (if you will) to remove them.
I go into a lot of detail on how to remove curses in that same video, so if you want to learn that process, so I do hope you will consider watching it. But in regards to internet trolls and online harassment I do want to reiterate a couple of points. In her online harassment video with Benebell Wen, Joey Morris says that she doesn’t believe that just focusing on the positives is ever an answer. She has observed that when a negative comment really gets to her, it’s because it’s touched on something that she is worried about or believes about herself. She advocates taking the power back and using the negativity to influence self-improvement. I really agree with that. When it comes to curses, I call that removing the fuel source. If a curse is really affecting you, something in your own belief structure, or a past trauma is rearing its ugly head and feeding the curse. And not only that, the curse can get stronger, and cause some very tangible damage in your life if you don’t take a look at that belief or trauma and find a way to navigate through it.
Another point I want to repeat is that if someone has cursed you, it is because they are trying to restore their own personal power. So, when an online troll uses harassment, it is because they feel diminished and helpless. I became the target for some trolls because they felt that I personally had taken power away from them.
I do think that curses are often easily broken by making an apology and sometimes making amends and restitution. But that only applies when there is a legitimate connection to the person or situation. Sometimes a person’s helplessness has nothing to do with you personally. In the videos made by BeanBagHagWag, and Joey Morris and Benebell Wen, they are largely discussing online harassment from cis-men to female presenting people. These types of trolls are just threatened by female presence. The horrific abuse that Joey Morris and Benebell Wen are discussing, happened largely because they were the most convenient target at that particular time. Online trolls are largely looking to wound and main anyone they can, if they can get to me, they’re temporarily delighted, but they will move on to the next target, no matter what my reaction is. Because it’s about them, and their pain, and this idea that they have, that hurting others will alleviate that pain.
That is never going to work for them because until a troll is willing to do some self-reflection and understand their pain, and work to navigate through that pain, there is nothing anyone can do to help them. So, you really can’t feed the trolls. What I mean is that trying to catch them in a lie, or present them with factual information, or otherwise engaging with them, establishes connection. Connection is a pretty potent form of magic all on its own and is one of the primary components of a curse. If I was just a convenient target for a troll, their pain isn’t my responsibility, but if I engage, I’ve established a connection. Now it is personal and now I am responsible for their pain. So, there is a very magical reason why you, “Don’t feed the trolls.”
The unfortunate reality I have to come to terms with is that by being a public figure on YouTube, I am - now a very accessible target for people’s pain. When an internet troll casts their curse by leaving me a harassing comment, it is going to affect me. How much damage it does to me will depend on my own personal beliefs and trauma. So I’m going to have to do a lot of personal work as I continue to grow this channel. I’m also going to have to acknowledge that I’m going to make mistakes. It is possible to create content that is offensive and harmful, and I may have to make apologies and amends if I find that has happened. But I am not responsible for someone’s fear of female presence, a troll suffering from that has a lot of personal work to do.
Harassment, online and otherwise is a serious crime. If you have been the victim of Harassment I urge to seek legal assistance. To help you To help you with that, I’ve provided some resources for you:
“Harassment.” Find Law, Thomson Reuters. https://criminal.findlaw.com/criminal-charges/harassment.html
“The distinction between ‘trolling’ and online harassment, and the law surrounding it.” Griffin Law. https://www.griffin.law/distinction-trolling-online-harassment-law-surrounding/
“Defining “Online Harassment”: A Glossary of Terms.” Online Harassment Field Manual, Pen America 2020. https://onlineharassmentfieldmanual.pen.org/defining-online-harassment-a-glossary-of-terms/
And this post was also featured as a video on the Fairy Fortunes YouTube Channel: